CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
