No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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