Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
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I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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