My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
