Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
