nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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