It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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