If i come over, it means nothing
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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