Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
50% drunk capacity currently
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
They have beer where we have blood.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
