they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
