He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
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