Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
