No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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