is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
its liver damage thursday
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
