He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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