Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
