party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
