I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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