it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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