Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
