Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
