addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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