who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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