her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
