i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
