Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
