I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
