Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
