Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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