but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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