I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
