just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
