i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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