Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I am one with the molecules
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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