apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
