Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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