and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize