You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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