plz talk dirty to me
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
