Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
