i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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