Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
