If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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