he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
