Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
i drank out of a bidet.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
tell me about the eggs
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
