dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
