i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
