I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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