i think i have two assholes
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
