I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I'm bleeding and have questions
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
