Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
