Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Well I just put wine in my tea
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
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