Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
My butt remains clenched, sir.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
