Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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