but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
