He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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