He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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