He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize