My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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