I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
