even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize