well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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